I shut my eyes
To find a rhythm in the chaos
Current pushing and pulling
Swelling and sinking
Plunging and swirling
There is no warning
For each trigger, toss, and turn
I’m caught in the deep
Darkness closes in
Smothers me to sleep
I won’t hear the silent screams
Rushing through my head
If I give in
Bury me
Below the waves
That strip me of my dignity
And mock my distanced dreams
Below the beatings and abuse
Where failure has no power to flog
And disappointment finds relief
Unfit for what faces me
In this hellish overture
Keep the curtain pulled down
And find me face down
How else can I stay afloat
Unless I drown?
I open my eyes
As the impulse to breathe
Arrests my whole body
Invigorates each muscle
Impresses sacredness of life to mind
Unified in the call to fight
To survive the present
Tread the ocean
Rise up to fill my lungs
With this moment’s provision
That prepares me for the next
Keep my head above water
What didn’t kill me made me stronger
I tune up
With the wind and waves
We await your perfect pitch
Longing for peace and harmony
For music to come from the storm
Orchestrated in sovereign grace
For when you pull back the curtain
To shine the light of joy
Deep enough to redeem the darkness
Of where I’ve been
In where I am
I keep my head above water
And I hope
